Take a moment to think about how you treat yourself when you make a
mistake or fail to reach a goal. If you tend to beat yourself up when
things go wrong, you, like most people, can use a little more
self-compassion in your life. Forgiving and nurturing yourself seem to have benefits in their own
right. They can even set the stage for better health, relationships, and
general well-being. So far, research has revealed a number of benefits
of self-compassion. Lower levels of anxiety and depression have been
observed in people with higher self-compassion. Self-compassionate
people recognize when they are suffering and are kind to themselves at
these times, thereby lowering their own levels of related anxiety and
depression.
Learn to have self-compassion
Some people come by self-compassion naturally, but not everyone does.
Luckily, self-compassion is a skill you can learn. Several methods have been proposed,
and training programs are being developed, to help people discover and
cultivate their own self-compassion. Here are four ways to give your self-compassion skills a quick boost:
Comfort your body. Eat something healthy. Lie down and
rest. Massage your own neck, feet, or hands. Take a walk. Anything you
can do to improve how you feel physically gives you a dose of
self-compassion.
Write a letter to yourself. Think of a situation that
caused you to feel pain (a breakup with a lover, a job loss, a poorly
received presentation). Write a letter to yourself describing the
situation, but without blaming anyone — including yourself. Use this
exercise to nurture your feelings.
Give yourself encouragement. Think of
what you would say to a good friend if he or she was facing a difficult
or stressful situation. Then, when you find yourself in this kind of
situation, direct these compassionate responses toward yourself.
Practice mindfulness. Even a quick exercise, such as
meditating for a few minutes, can be a great way to nurture and accept
ourselves while we're in pain.
For more ways to draw on your strengths and find the positive meaning in your life,purchase Positive Psychology, a Special Health Report from Harvard Medical School.
